I'm drowning in Post It notes.
It's far more dangerous than it sounds, a sea of work words waiting to swallow me up.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday 14 August 2009
Being told off by the security lesbian for wearing no shoes is fantastic.
To top it all off Napoleon is back at work this week. My ears got so used to not bleeding.
To top it all off Napoleon is back at work this week. My ears got so used to not bleeding.
Friday 14 August 2009
I'm performing an automated work task while listening to "Hits from the bong" (Cypress Hill).
Somehow this seems wrong……… yet appropriate.
Somehow this seems wrong……… yet appropriate.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday 6 August 2009
Not being able to let go of bad habits is my biggest downfall. I run and hide, thinking I have set myself free but then without rhyme or reason I slip back to the beginning.
Things and substances, at least, cannot mock me like my addiction to people.
He gives me so many reasons to cut him out, completely and for good, yet I crawl back on my knees and let him spit in my face.
It'll be different this time……….. (cross your fingers for the little voice inside my head)
Things and substances, at least, cannot mock me like my addiction to people.
He gives me so many reasons to cut him out, completely and for good, yet I crawl back on my knees and let him spit in my face.
It'll be different this time……….. (cross your fingers for the little voice inside my head)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday 29 July 2009
They say once you hit rock bottom you can't go lower. That is indeed not true.
Due to some "sage" advice I now find myself fighting tears at my desk.
I'm sure he doesn't mean it but fuck he can be (or just is) an ass. It's my own fault for expecting the unexpected. I should stop investing in bum stock but I never seem to learn my lessons. In the end it all comes back to the same place.
Due to some "sage" advice I now find myself fighting tears at my desk.
I'm sure he doesn't mean it but fuck he can be (or just is) an ass. It's my own fault for expecting the unexpected. I should stop investing in bum stock but I never seem to learn my lessons. In the end it all comes back to the same place.
Wednesday 29 July 2009
It's a horrible experience when you realise you're stuck with the life that you have, unwillingly, made for yourself and cannot see any way to claw your way out. I have been overwhelmed with such a feeling lately, the bugs of disappointment crawling slowly and deliberately all over my former self.
A woman in America ate the brain of her new born baby, even that seems like a better life choice when compared to the spreadsheets I have to deal with. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25845958-401,00.html
There is a great big hole inside me where my soul used to be and only 40 or so years of my working life to go. Kids should not be taught that it's not wise to dream. Lobotomy vouchers should be sent out via mail as soon as we legally become adults in order to help the world deal with the experience that is 'real life'.
A woman in America ate the brain of her new born baby, even that seems like a better life choice when compared to the spreadsheets I have to deal with. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25845958-401,00.html
There is a great big hole inside me where my soul used to be and only 40 or so years of my working life to go. Kids should not be taught that it's not wise to dream. Lobotomy vouchers should be sent out via mail as soon as we legally become adults in order to help the world deal with the experience that is 'real life'.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday 27 July 2009
It's been far too long. Work has put constraints on both my time and soul so much so that I haven't even been vent in my chosen medium.
This will be a short entry.
So today, with the Great Leader absent, Chumpy and I got straight into a biffo. Apparently my music was "up too loud" (even though the woman who sits right near me didn't seem to notice it) and I was told to turn it off. The bigger outrage of this story is that Chumpy seemed to think that Faith No More was Guns 'n' Roses.
This lead to us giving each other the silent treatment.
It's like fighting with your adopted brother who you hate and would kill if it was legal.
This will be a short entry.
So today, with the Great Leader absent, Chumpy and I got straight into a biffo. Apparently my music was "up too loud" (even though the woman who sits right near me didn't seem to notice it) and I was told to turn it off. The bigger outrage of this story is that Chumpy seemed to think that Faith No More was Guns 'n' Roses.
This lead to us giving each other the silent treatment.
It's like fighting with your adopted brother who you hate and would kill if it was legal.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday 26 June 2009
Thank god it's this day of the week. As far as I'm concerned this is the only saving grace.
*marmy *unt has been living up to his name the last two days. Being civil to him takes up most of my will power. In his head he is king of the world and we are all his lowly servants, just dying to be mocked by him. I'm not sure if he's actually aware of the way he comes across, but considering I never actually want to find out how his sick mind works, I will have to remain puzzled.
This week has been an absolute horror. I had intended to put words down sooner but each time I started a feeling of doom would overcome me and squash my need to express myself.
Teared up at work today. Lucky that Michael Jackson carked it today and I could tell people I was just mourning the loss of such a fine human being.
In actual fact I was mourning the loss of my belief in the fairness of this place, along with part of my work ethic.
Why should I if they won't?
Basically the world is invited to bite me.
*marmy *unt has been living up to his name the last two days. Being civil to him takes up most of my will power. In his head he is king of the world and we are all his lowly servants, just dying to be mocked by him. I'm not sure if he's actually aware of the way he comes across, but considering I never actually want to find out how his sick mind works, I will have to remain puzzled.
This week has been an absolute horror. I had intended to put words down sooner but each time I started a feeling of doom would overcome me and squash my need to express myself.
Teared up at work today. Lucky that Michael Jackson carked it today and I could tell people I was just mourning the loss of such a fine human being.
In actual fact I was mourning the loss of my belief in the fairness of this place, along with part of my work ethic.
Why should I if they won't?
Basically the world is invited to bite me.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Monday 22 June 2009
Transition from sleep to wake has left me angry as nightmares linger like a thick fog surrounding my mind. Enemy soldiers on some sort of covert mission to ready destroy my recent spate of sanity perhaps…..
Napoleon spent the better part of the morning attending to 'personal' business on the phone, which would be all well and good if his voice did not penetrate your brain like a jackhammer. Think Chumpy was ready to kill and destroy, not that I blame him.
Managed to do some actual work today which soothes my ethical urges but appears to have made my head ache.
I feel a shiver down my back, and sure enough when I look up Milk Thief is sliming his way down the corridor. The nightmares might be bleeding into reality.
Napoleon spent the better part of the morning attending to 'personal' business on the phone, which would be all well and good if his voice did not penetrate your brain like a jackhammer. Think Chumpy was ready to kill and destroy, not that I blame him.
Managed to do some actual work today which soothes my ethical urges but appears to have made my head ache.
I feel a shiver down my back, and sure enough when I look up Milk Thief is sliming his way down the corridor. The nightmares might be bleeding into reality.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday 18 June 2009
It smells like bourbon and faeces outside. My pleasant walk outside was supposed to be refreshing, instead it just made me think of Mooseheads.
An old woman that I must communicate with on a regular basis in order to do my job is infringing on my patience. Let us call her Leatherface.
Leatherface is a bitter old bitty who appears to add no value to the human race. The Great Leader once called her a 'glorified mail box' and I believe this to be a succinct and accurate description. If you do not suffer fools lightly this woman would cause you excruciating pain.
Chumpy is away sick, the poor love. Serves him right for making out with football players. I warned him of the consequences of such actions.
An old woman that I must communicate with on a regular basis in order to do my job is infringing on my patience. Let us call her Leatherface.
Leatherface is a bitter old bitty who appears to add no value to the human race. The Great Leader once called her a 'glorified mail box' and I believe this to be a succinct and accurate description. If you do not suffer fools lightly this woman would cause you excruciating pain.
Chumpy is away sick, the poor love. Serves him right for making out with football players. I warned him of the consequences of such actions.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday 17 June 2009
Today has been banally pleasant, like slowly drowning in a giant tub of warm honey.
My PC is behaving like a massive prostitute and Dragon Lady will not stop sniffing around the Great Leader, like the hungry hungry dog she is. Old chewy mutton wishin' and a hopin' it was lamb.
That will be me one day soon………………..
My PC is behaving like a massive prostitute and Dragon Lady will not stop sniffing around the Great Leader, like the hungry hungry dog she is. Old chewy mutton wishin' and a hopin' it was lamb.
That will be me one day soon………………..
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday 12 June 2009
Think I’m starting to decompose.
Moths have started circling our desks. It is the plague of boredom, the first sign of Armageddon. Bring on the hell fire and four horsemen.
Moths have started circling our desks. It is the plague of boredom, the first sign of Armageddon. Bring on the hell fire and four horsemen.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thursday 11 June 2009
So dead in here today, feels like there should be flies buzzing around our corpses.
Some humorless prude insists on removing my, obviously superior, hygiene instruction posters from the toilets. If my senses were not so dulled by the monotonous pace of the salt mines I might be outraged. It’s just one of those days today where being alive and dead are separated by an almost inexistent thread.
Wake me up when the world starts spinning again.
Some humorless prude insists on removing my, obviously superior, hygiene instruction posters from the toilets. If my senses were not so dulled by the monotonous pace of the salt mines I might be outraged. It’s just one of those days today where being alive and dead are separated by an almost inexistent thread.
Wake me up when the world starts spinning again.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday 10 June 2009
So apparently my work place does not trust us to up keep our personal hygiene up to par with normal human levels. It's all well and good that there's a supposed swine flu pandemic but if this has made us forget how to wash our hands God help us all.
If 'How to wipe' instructions appear on the inside of the cubicle doors I'm packing up my belongings and joining the unemployment line.
I made my own sign and have displayed it alongside the 'official' one in the bathrooms. I think mine is a lot more helpful, in the long run anyway:
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Oxygen Thief returned from the land of spitting on the floor in restaurants. Luckily I have managed to avoid being engaged in conversation thus far.
Apparently the height of fashion in this not so far away land consists of dowdy dresses made out of some form of shiny pumpkin.
Apparently the height of fashion in this not so far away land consists of dowdy dresses made out of some form of shiny pumpkin.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday 9 June 2009
Why do so many men insist on wearing white socks with snooty dress shoes to work? The white socks not only cancel out any half decent fashion decisions but also make them look like they are stuck in some sort of 90's time warp, not to mention offending my sense of a harmonious aesthetic in my work environment.
Another branch meeting today with *marmy *unt at his annoying best. Most things out of his mouth are better left unsaid.
Suppose this is a good time to introduce *marmy *unt:
Close your eyes and imagine: the dullest, yet very fertile, female you have ever met has just died. Her body is kept under specific conditions allowing for artificial insemination to take place. The seed of a deplorable man (I imagine someone like Nick Xenophon) is then implanted and somehow matures.
After the 9 month human gestation period the pregnant corpse is struck by lightning, *marmy *unt enters the world.
Another branch meeting today with *marmy *unt at his annoying best. Most things out of his mouth are better left unsaid.
Suppose this is a good time to introduce *marmy *unt:
Close your eyes and imagine: the dullest, yet very fertile, female you have ever met has just died. Her body is kept under specific conditions allowing for artificial insemination to take place. The seed of a deplorable man (I imagine someone like Nick Xenophon) is then implanted and somehow matures.
After the 9 month human gestation period the pregnant corpse is struck by lightning, *marmy *unt enters the world.
Tuesday 9 June 2009
(*note the name change - "Journal of workplace harassment" was becoming too controversial a name when spied by those I do not intend to read my musings. Let us call this a tactical re-name)
NRL is the death of us all. Making out with footballers will give you swine flu like symptoms, leaving you isolated and suffering in bed. Yet the shame is the worst thing of all. I blame specific loneliness.
Have you missed me?
Someone referred to me as 'A woman I work with ' in their blog. It makes me feel old and really sad for some reason. I wish I was more than that.
I stray from the expected topic of workplace hate anecdotes today, this might become a re-occurring thing. Being socially isolated in bed for a week can do strange things to a person.
Have read too many things on my computer screen today that have made my heart race. I'm worried about what might become of this fragile organ of mine. You must know who you are, to scare me this way. But then again you might not even be aware. So wrapped up in yourself and the places only you go. How hard can it be to let someone walk beside you? We all fall down occasionally.
NRL is the death of us all. Making out with footballers will give you swine flu like symptoms, leaving you isolated and suffering in bed. Yet the shame is the worst thing of all. I blame specific loneliness.
Have you missed me?
Someone referred to me as 'A woman I work with ' in their blog. It makes me feel old and really sad for some reason. I wish I was more than that.
I stray from the expected topic of workplace hate anecdotes today, this might become a re-occurring thing. Being socially isolated in bed for a week can do strange things to a person.
Have read too many things on my computer screen today that have made my heart race. I'm worried about what might become of this fragile organ of mine. You must know who you are, to scare me this way. But then again you might not even be aware. So wrapped up in yourself and the places only you go. How hard can it be to let someone walk beside you? We all fall down occasionally.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Tuesday 2 June 2009
Chumpy just threatened to run me down with his car while I'm walking home.
I might have told him I would lick his phone and give him the swine flu AIDS, but for now that's just hearsay.
Dragon Lady is trying to figure out how to do her job. Asking the Pent Up Postal might not be the best idea. As usually happens here the blind continue to lead the blind.
I might have told him I would lick his phone and give him the swine flu AIDS, but for now that's just hearsay.
Dragon Lady is trying to figure out how to do her job. Asking the Pent Up Postal might not be the best idea. As usually happens here the blind continue to lead the blind.
Tuesday 2 June 2009
I have contracted some form of lurgy. Since there has been an unnecessary panic already created for me I will just call it swine flu. Guess I'll have to stop licking those pigs that my Mexican husband keeps sending over as tokens of his undying love.
The sewer shower problem still lingers within the walls of this fine organisation. Maybe we should go on strike.
Overheard Napoleon have a work related conversation and he actually sounded pseudo knowledgeable. This has made me believe that I have in fact been transported to some alternate universe where everything is wrong and can never be right.
Dragon Lady is making attempts to feign being a decent human being. It's made me feel dirty and violated.
If I vomit on my keyboard they might send me home and this will all be over for one more day.
Come back my sanity crutch.
The sewer shower problem still lingers within the walls of this fine organisation. Maybe we should go on strike.
Overheard Napoleon have a work related conversation and he actually sounded pseudo knowledgeable. This has made me believe that I have in fact been transported to some alternate universe where everything is wrong and can never be right.
Dragon Lady is making attempts to feign being a decent human being. It's made me feel dirty and violated.
If I vomit on my keyboard they might send me home and this will all be over for one more day.
Come back my sanity crutch.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Monday 1 June 2009
Monday is always a delight, today especially.
Personal musings are keeping me teared up. Plus the Dragon Lady has entered our branch today. She's already grinding and it's only the first day.
Also it seems I might have to shower with sewerage at work tomorrow. The competence of the Facilities manager is forever in question.
Excuse my lack of wit and rage today, the pending tears have taken it away.
Personal musings are keeping me teared up. Plus the Dragon Lady has entered our branch today. She's already grinding and it's only the first day.
Also it seems I might have to shower with sewerage at work tomorrow. The competence of the Facilities manager is forever in question.
Excuse my lack of wit and rage today, the pending tears have taken it away.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday 29 May 2009
Today's entry is positive, looking at it from my perspective anyhow.
Napoleon got into a minor car accident last night*. Mainly because he drives like a limp wristed squirrel on Meth.
Anyway this is bad for him yet good for me, and pretty much anyone near him who has a functioning ear drum. He's not at work and it's gloriously quiet.
*He's not even hurt so I'm not as evil as I may appear.
Napoleon got into a minor car accident last night*. Mainly because he drives like a limp wristed squirrel on Meth.
Anyway this is bad for him yet good for me, and pretty much anyone near him who has a functioning ear drum. He's not at work and it's gloriously quiet.
*He's not even hurt so I'm not as evil as I may appear.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thrusday 28 May 2009
Apparently the memo that Angry Wednesday was moved to Thursday by-passed me. It all began in a non work related setting with the unmasking of the ‘Bus Stop Urinator’. This vile man has taken it upon himself to water and fragrance the bus stop with the refreshing smell of pee.
He unmasked himself by peeing openly while I was 5 meters away; he even managed to hold eye contact with me the whole time.
Work has been so generally “delightful” I cannot bear to even document it today.
To quote a friend:
“Piss at the bus stop and shit at work. What a wonderful combination.”
He unmasked himself by peeing openly while I was 5 meters away; he even managed to hold eye contact with me the whole time.
Work has been so generally “delightful” I cannot bear to even document it today.
To quote a friend:
“Piss at the bus stop and shit at work. What a wonderful combination.”
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday 27 May 2009
Napoleon has a coffee stain on his desk.
You don't see the point of that statement? Frankly neither did I when his voice, which must be controlled by some demon from the depths of hell, projected this insightful gem across at least 20 meters of office space.
Is it any wonder my brain tends to shut down after being exposed to this environment?
Napoleon is the coffee stain and the desk is the world.
You don't see the point of that statement? Frankly neither did I when his voice, which must be controlled by some demon from the depths of hell, projected this insightful gem across at least 20 meters of office space.
Is it any wonder my brain tends to shut down after being exposed to this environment?
Napoleon is the coffee stain and the desk is the world.
Wedensday 27 May 2009
Angry Wednesday seems to have struck others harder than myself.
Chumpy is in mood swing mode yet again. He seems determined to rub his foul mood all over me and after a brief argument about Polish cinema he might just succeed.
If misery loves company the guests today are truly high calibre.
The painfully slow pace of the day is not conducive to easing the pain of the salt mines.
Napoleon is trying to involve himself with people by letting them know that the poor woman that bore him has brushed up against a Swine flu patient. I suspect this might have been an unconscious attempt at suicide, not that she can be blamed considering the fruit of her loin. At least his claim of possible infection allows me to shoo him away in a comical way, hiding my claws for another day.
Chumpy is in mood swing mode yet again. He seems determined to rub his foul mood all over me and after a brief argument about Polish cinema he might just succeed.
If misery loves company the guests today are truly high calibre.
The painfully slow pace of the day is not conducive to easing the pain of the salt mines.
Napoleon is trying to involve himself with people by letting them know that the poor woman that bore him has brushed up against a Swine flu patient. I suspect this might have been an unconscious attempt at suicide, not that she can be blamed considering the fruit of her loin. At least his claim of possible infection allows me to shoo him away in a comical way, hiding my claws for another day.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Tuesday 26 May 2009
Was too traumatised by the prospect of facing this horrible place yesterday and made the executive decision not to attend.
Today on the other hand, I could not escape.
In a gesture of comradely I saved a seat for Chumpy next to me at our branch meeting (keep your enemies closer and all that jazz), he flatly and publicly refused my kind and sincere offer.
After some thinking, and many annoying events, I am contemplating the addition of a few more 'characters' to this journal. I do not seek them out. This place seems to be peppered with imbeciles whose only mission in life is to drive me to an early grave.
Enter Napoleon. Possibly the most grating social misfit ever to escape a womb alive. The pitch of his voice engineered by homosexual hating harpies. It is difficult to even begin to describe the daily detrimental effect this (so called) man has on my psyche. He floats around like the bad smell no one will admit to emitting. He is the fart in the elevator.
Today does not leave enough time to delve deeper but with Angry Wednesday about to dawn there will be plenty to feast upon.
(If all goes well *marmy *unt will make his first appearance tomorrow)
Today on the other hand, I could not escape.
In a gesture of comradely I saved a seat for Chumpy next to me at our branch meeting (keep your enemies closer and all that jazz), he flatly and publicly refused my kind and sincere offer.
After some thinking, and many annoying events, I am contemplating the addition of a few more 'characters' to this journal. I do not seek them out. This place seems to be peppered with imbeciles whose only mission in life is to drive me to an early grave.
Enter Napoleon. Possibly the most grating social misfit ever to escape a womb alive. The pitch of his voice engineered by homosexual hating harpies. It is difficult to even begin to describe the daily detrimental effect this (so called) man has on my psyche. He floats around like the bad smell no one will admit to emitting. He is the fart in the elevator.
Today does not leave enough time to delve deeper but with Angry Wednesday about to dawn there will be plenty to feast upon.
(If all goes well *marmy *unt will make his first appearance tomorrow)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday 22 May 2009
Chumpy is in a bit of a mood today.
My computer would not let me access an asinine program needed to perform my daily duties so asked Chumpy for his assistance. After much grumbling he finally complied.
My computer would not let me access an asinine program needed to perform my daily duties so asked Chumpy for his assistance. After much grumbling he finally complied.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday 21 May 2009......part 2
As suspected there is indeed more.
Chumpy is greatly enjoying the physical pain I am feeling (due to using my legs too much). My pain puts a great big smile on his face.
Chumpy is greatly enjoying the physical pain I am feeling (due to using my legs too much). My pain puts a great big smile on his face.
Thursday 21 May 2009
Today Chumpy told me I looked like I had a poodle on my head. He also managed to stifle my artistic spirit by discouraging my love of photography.
With two hours left in the work day there may be further developments.
With two hours left in the work day there may be further developments.
The start of something magical
It begins now..................
This blog will document the on-going work place harassment I am subjected to by my team mate. He is an evil man. In order not to ruffle any legal feathers we will call him Chumpy.
Chumpy looks innocent enough but underneath hides the evil black heart of a future Hitler.
I will use this medium to document the daily incidents that are slowly killing my spirit.
This blog will document the on-going work place harassment I am subjected to by my team mate. He is an evil man. In order not to ruffle any legal feathers we will call him Chumpy.
Chumpy looks innocent enough but underneath hides the evil black heart of a future Hitler.
I will use this medium to document the daily incidents that are slowly killing my spirit.
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